A $4,000 Breath of Fresh Air | Eight Track Mind

A $4,000 Breath of Fresh Air (cont.)

By the time we arrived at the police station, I was completely sober and frustrated. I said the usual stuff that I assume everyone who gets arrested says: "I didn't do it," "you got the wrong guy," and "I'm innocent." It all fell on deaf ears like doctors in an emergency room casually ignoring the pleas from all the patients in pain who need them "right now!" I began to wonder who was more jaded at this point, the cops or me?

When I entered the station, they did some paper work, took off my cuffs and asked me to strip naked. Having to touch your toes, buck naked, in front of two or three cops isn't exactly the most degrading thing you can go through, but it's close. "What do we have here?" I heard an officer say.

"Looks like we got some marijuana."

Almost amused by this, the arresting officer (we'll call him Mr. Nice Cop from here out, or MNC; Mr. Bad Cop arrives shortly, or MBC) blurts out "Man, why didn't you toss that when you saw me coming for you?"

"I didn't think you were there to arrest me."

"Well, now you know for next time. Toss it. I wouldn't have had any way to prove it was yours unless I found it on you."

Thanks for the tip, I thought to myself. MNC had missed it in his initial pat down of me. But when my pants came off, they searched through my pockets. And to be quite honest, at that juncture I didn't even care about it. I was more concerned with the fact that I had just been arrested for a crime I did not commit.

Just then MBC enters the room. He's the classic 50-year old cop who has been on the force since he was 20. He likes to play the role of intimidator. Thinking he holds an uncanny ability to interrogate even the worst jaywalker into admitting they were smoking underage. He looked like the dirty Senator from the Godfather Part II.

He leads me to my cell, taunting me the entire way.

"So son, what are you in for this evening?"

"Wrong place at the wrong time." I hopelessly whispered.

"Yep, you and everyone else in here."

He paused.

"Boy, I really can't wait to find your fingerprints all over this stop sign you used to smash the front door."

"Well, you won't be, cause I didn't do it." I said with a hint of cockiness.

"Let me ask you something, son. Then how come we found the stolen bottles of liquor on the front lawn of your house? You want to explain that one to me?"

"Ummmm, I was having a party, sir. I can't really control who shows up at my party and what they do or bring. So obviously, whoever actually did the break-in came to my house afterwards. And since I spent half the night upstairs in my roommates bedroom, I wouldn't have seen what was going on on my front lawn."

He looked at me with a classic "you're-full-of-shit" look. Smirking he tells me "Now I find that very hard to believe. You don't know the people who attend your parties? You just let strangers come into your house? When I was in college, we sure as heck knew every person who was attending our parties."

I kept thinking, "well, things are a little different in 1993 at West Virginia University than they were in the early 60's when your parties consisted of sock hops and doing the twist." He proceeded with his remarks.

"So I suppose having an eye witness pick you out wasn't enough? He even explained exactly what you were wearing: a baseball hat and a flannel shirt."

I had to hold back from laughing in his face.

"Ummmm, Officer, there are over 20,000 students in this town. Do you think I'm the only one who wears a baseball hat and a flannel shirt?"

"I don't think that is a very common outfit around here." He said.

Not a common outfit? Let's review this for a second. 1993. West Virginia University. A 20-year old kid wearing a baseball hat and a flannel shirt. Was he crazy? I think 90% of the students looked like Eddie Vedder mixed with Adrock.

Steve Rubin is the lead singer and guitar player for Eight Track Mind.